Life's Frozen Things
by MaliJo
Summary: In New York, our favourite frozen people battle with everything from love triangles, fire extinguishers to weirdo neighbours. So let's ask the question; Will Jack and Elsa ever be happy together? Can Anna land her dream job? Will Hans follow his "heart"? and when will Kristoff ever catch a break? {DISNEY/NON CROSSOVER} Helsa, Kristanna, a little Jelsa... other pairings of such.
1. Meet the Cast

**A/N:**** Yes, I'm starting yet another new story! ... Or continuing ;) This is different to anything I've written because it will be set out like a TV show (as in switching from different scenes and labelling chapters and parts as 'Episodes' and 'Scenes' but it will be written like any normal story. Paragraphs, speech, movement, adjectives THE WHOLE SHEBANG! **

**The original story was by the user 'aidan bale'. He has asked me to continue his own TV show story 'Frozen Development' with most of his features but in my own way and I was really happy when asked, like seriously! So I've written this slightly different to his original plans but I've kept it on the same road if you get what I mean.**

**Aidan, I hope it's to your satisfactory :D This is just the character plans, it may give away some future episode summaries and this is to describe the characters better so you're reading goes smooth and everything.**

**I will add new characters to this page once introduced (because there most likely will be more). **

**PLEASE NOTE: This is a crossover (Disney/DreamWorks), Elsa does not have her powers, they are in New York, the events of Frozen and any other films included have not happened and never will (although there are suggestions about it) and Sven, Max and Olaf are all HUMAN.**

**RATED T: For language, minor violence and some suggestive themes. Read at your own accord.**

**DISCLAMER: I do NOT own Frozen or any of the surrounding movies. Please read and review!**

**~MaliJo x**

* * *

**Introduction**

Meet the Cast!

* * *

_**Main Characters:**_

**Name: **Kristoff Bjorgman

**Age: **25

**Home Country: **Norway

**Work: **Typical business man at New York's largest bank.

**Description: **Kristoff is often the glue that keeps everyone together. He takes pity on those who are in need of help but doesn't act upon his thoughts unless he too, will get something out of it but he is prepared to wait. His past has been lonely but since he moved to New York from Norway nearly two years ago and met Anna, his life has been sweet. He now has a satisfying job, a doting girlfriend and a bunch of people he can call friends. Kristoff's main trait would be a 'Workaholic'. He doesn't like leaving things unfinished and takes pride in all his work as well as being the one to urge others into employment and he always aspires to a position greater than his own. He lives in a block of apartments with his roommate and friend, Hans. He finds that out of all the group, he can relate to Elsa the most for various reasons.

**Past: **Adopted as a young boy in Norway by a large family who are always mothering him even as a full-grown adult. He moved to America after his best friend Sven (Who was living there at the time) had told him how great it was and how many job offers there were in New York. In need of money, he jumped at the opportunity.

**Dream: **For Hans to get a job OR MOVE OUT!

* * *

**Name: **Anna Arendelle

**Age: **23

**Home Country: **Canada

**Work: **Dabbles between many different jobs

**Description: **Anna is bubbly and caring, she enjoys the many offerings of spring and much like Kristoff, she never gives up on someone she cares about, especially if they're Elsa. Anna is also very stubborn and won't take 'no' as an answer. She will even go to the extent of singing with puppy eyes to get what she wants. Anna sees everyone as friendly although she's always been slightly wary of Hans. Anna has always loved children and her goal is to become a preschool teacher so she can spend time with children (and continue being a kid herself) before eventually, wanting to become a mother. She lives with her sister Elsa but often visits Kristoff her boyfriend at his home and his work as she just can't pin herself away from him.

**Past: **Lived with her sister in Canada for three years before the Arendelle family decided to move to New York to give their daughters a better start in life. She met Kristoff and Sven for the first time in an arcade where Sven lived above.

**Dream: **To become a preschool teacher and a mother/housewife.

* * *

**Name: **Hans Westerguard

**Age: **24

**Home Country: **Denmark

**Work: **Unemployed. If he gets a job... it doesn't last.

**Description: **Hans is laid-back and carefree, often referring to himself as a 'ladies man' even when he's sponging off of his roommate, Kristoff. Hans may be cunning but didn't take any experience from school in Denmark, more focused on getting away from his brothers than bothering to learn. Because of his bad grades and history of little work, Hans has a hard time finding a job so he eventually gave up. Hans has an evil personality and thrives upon another's misfortune but somehow, this lazy slacker has become apart of the group. His best friends are arguably Kristoff and Sven and his hobbies are mostly being a couch potato, smoking weed now and then with Sven and bragging about his times with girls (mostly to Elsa). His main traits consist of lazy, forgetful yet charismatic and at times, rather flirty. But despite all this, there is good in him, it just takes time to show.

**Past: **Hans has always constantly been on the run from his thirteen brothers who mock him beyond words, trying to prove himself _not _the runt of the litter. He's been all around Europe and North America, trying to fit in and get a job, which is nearly impossible since he had no qualifications. He met Kristoff on the street and somehow convinced him to let him stay in his apartment until he got back on his feet, it's been about two years since then.

**Dream: **For his brothers to leave him alone AND to nail Elsa (let's be honest with each other).

* * *

**Name: **Elsa Arendelle

**Age: **25

**Home Country: **Canada

**Work: **Hardworking beautician at a local salon.

**Description: **Intelligent, reserved and rarely confident, Elsa is much like Kristoff, committed to her job and Anna. Even though Elsa has a boyfriend, Jack, she is almost convinced that true love does not exist. Elsa is quiet and aggressive, especially when it comes to Hans. Her most valued things in life is her sister Anna and of course, her privacy. She would enjoy work more if it was the job she has always aspired to which is architecture as she takes great pleasure in designing and building things but lacks the needed confidence to stand her ground. She currently works at a salon which she does well at and is given good money. How she came to be apart of the Frozen group was by being dragged out by Anna and eventually she grew to love the group as they accepted her. Basically, to explain Elsa would be… _mysterious_. Mysterious because it's rare you will ever see that warm side of her yet everyone knows it's there.

**Past: **Unlike Anna, she often misses her home country and visits whenever she has the money. She grew up as a loner more than anything else but always had a passion for designing clothes and buildings. Elsa definitely thinks her isolation years from when her parents divorced, enforced this skill.

**Dream: **To design a building for one of New York's fashion agencies.

* * *

**Name: **Sven Antlers

**Age: **27

**Work: **Self-employed as a drug dealer.

**Description: **Sven is self-employed (or so he says) and has known Kristoff since they were in kindergarten together. Sven spends most of his time playing video games, sharing Kristoff's food and smoking weed with Hans. In fact, Sven seems to be more enthusiastic to get high with Hans instead of replacing or rebuying Kristoff's carrots that he gets a taste for after a joint. Sven lives alone above an arcade across the street from Hans and Kristoff but spends most of his time at Kristoff's apartment.

**Past: **Sven and Kristoff became friends in their orphanage as young children and didn't drift apart until Sven turned eighteen and was allowed to leave the orphanage. He left to New York to start his own drug business which has been on and off for him. Kristoff and Sven didn't keep in touch too much but Sven was starting to get lonely and gave him a call, telling him how great the city life was.

**Dream:** To... hmm... get a life?

* * *

_**Recurring characters:**_

**Name: **Jack Frost

**Age: **21

**Home Country: **Pennsylvania, America

**Work: **Unemployed, get's money from his uncle who he helps out at times in his factory.

**Description: **At the age of 21, all males are partying, drinking and taking life as a joke. Jack is no exception. Jack is childish, adventurous and funny. He wanders around New York as a poor boy from Burgess when in actual fact, his uncle North who takes care of him, owns a major business. Although he isn't part of the group, everyone seems to like him (besides Hans who is jealous of Jack who actually _is _really smooth with the ladies). He has a hard time showing Elsa love although he does feel it and the age difference is probably what makes them so out of tune with each other. Jack's favourite days are snow days!

**Past: **Jack grew up with his sister and mother in Burgess and currently lives just about anywhere in New York. Being the party guy everyone loves, he always had a couch to crash on. He also helps his uncle, Nicholas with his company.

**Dream: **To live in the moment and make Elsa his bride because YOLO.

* * *

**Name: **Olaf Arendelle

**Age: **20

**Home Country: **America

**Work: **Unemployed, gets tips from his stand-up comedy.

**Description: **Being the younger brother of Anna and much like Hans, a slacker, he is constantly pushed further to get a job but he's even more inexperienced than Hans. He is often getting himself into accidents since he shares Anna's clumsy trait. Despite all this, he is caring and when he pushes himself… determined. He lives with his parents and has a friendly connection with Sven. Once a week, he goes to the local bar and performs stand up comedy.

**Past: **Unlike Anna and Elsa, Olaf never lived in Canada but doesn't mind because he enjoys the summer so much. He's always had a passion for writing his own comedy acts and he also has a lot of time to do it as well considering he lives with his parents.

**Dream: **Stay a mommy's boy forever.

* * *

**Name: **Duke Weselton

**Age: **68

**Home Country: **America

**Work: **Kristoff's boss at New York's largest bank.

**Description: **Duke is Kristoff's boss. He shows no emotion to his employees and acts rather snooty. Duke always expects only the best and is easily disappointed. How ever, on some occasions, he gets drunk rather easily and ends up claiming to be the best dancer of all around.

**Past: **Duke has a past of dancing believe it or not, he won many competitions and still enjoys listening to music to this day although he's far to old to be dancing now!

**Dream: **To live as a dancer once more.

* * *

**Name: **Eugene Fitzherbert (Flynn Rider)

**Age: **30

**Home Country: **Corona, Germany

**Work: **Boat salesman.

**Description: **Despite his age, Eugene doesn't appear day over 25. He is Hans' acquaintance from college and married to Elsa, Anna and Olaf's cousin Rapunzel. Although he loves his wife Rapunzel dearly, he often jokes about how marriage ruined his life and it did in fact change him. The only thing that has stayed the same with his… _charm _is his all-famous smoulder. He lives with Rapunzel in the island of Corona (Germany).

**Past: **Eugene used to do a lot of shoplifting as a young kid and always dreamed of bigger things. (Money, islands, girls and yachts etc...). His road of crime stopped when he met Rapunzel though.

**Dream: **He still has the dream of being rich, famous and to have an island names after him.

* * *

**Name: **Rapunzel Fitzherbert

**Age: **27

**Home Country: **Corona, Germany

**Work: **Self-employed painter and dressmaker.

**Description: **Rapunzel loves her life. She sails around the word with her husband Eugene and their loveable (but stubborn) five year old son, Max. Rapunzel earns her money from painting, writing and singing whilst Eugene stays home and takes care of he house and Max. Yes, he is the housewife in their relationship. What Rapunzel loves doing most is visiting her cousins and their friends in New York. Though she is just like Anna, creative and bubbly, she often draws herself towards Elsa. Mainly because she understands what it's like to be locked away.

**Past: **Rapunzel has always been a gifted student and had much innocence towards the world. She also dreamed of better things and much like Elsa, isolated herself but in term, gained many skills of an artist, author and housewife.

**Dream: **To watch the lanterns each year with her husband and son.

* * *

**Name: **Max Fitzherbert (Abbreviation of 'Maximus' from 'Tangled')

**Age: **7

**Home Country: **Corona, Germany

**Work: **Goes to school, that's work in it's self.

**Description: **Max is the son of Rapunzel and Eugene Fitzherbert. He is always picky about things and doesn't take likely to being deceived or pranked. He is in a constant chase with his father and seems to have a very good fighting spirit. Although Max doesn't say much, when he does, he ends up saying something funny or awkward. Above all, Max is a loyal son.

**Past: **Max doesn't have much of a past but he's had a good life so far, I'll give him that.

**Dream: **To become a policeman when he's older. Wait, what?

* * *

**Name: **Oaken (Unknown surname)

**Age: **Unknown

**Home Country: **Unknown

**Work: **Unknown

**Description: **There really isn't much to be told about this man. It appears he is from a cold country and owns his own trading business. He is Kristoff's new neighbour and is never generous with the information he gives out about himself. Oaken always acts suspicious and offers his homemade lotions and balms when he passes the group.

**Past: **As stated, Oaken doesn't give away very much information but what we do know is that he has a family and sauna.

**Dream: **For Hans and Sven to love him. Wait, what?!

* * *

**Name: **Gothel Skinner (**NEW!)**

**Age: **35

**Home Country: **Sweden

**Work: **Owner of local and Elsa's boss.

**Description: **Gothel is very self-centred and thinks far too highly of herself as well as being more plastic than human. She cares only for her looks and is Elsa's boss who owns the salon. Gothel has no interest in settling down with a family and still has the dream of becoming a fashion model which at her age, is _only _a dream. Despite all this, she often has a good sense of humour and can offer some valuable advice when it comes to people and when you catch her in her good moods, sometimes she will listen to your problems. Her main traits would be a diva and flirty (but that doesn't mean she cares for the bloke!).

**Past: **Always been looking for the fountain of youth (aka plastic surgeons) and been living the life of a young adult, often forgetting there are _rules _in society.

**Dream:**To become the next top model, the next Barbie girl.


	2. Hangovers and Porsches

**Episode One**

Hangovers and Porsches

* * *

_**Kristoff's apartment**_

The air was thick and heavy upon Hans once he awoke, slowly flickering his eyes open and closed as he gradually pushed himself up and kneaded the sleep away from his eyes with his palms. Once Hans sat up, he noticed he was in the bathroom, leant up against the toilet basin with a glass bottle that was chipped on the floor beside him and a sour taste lurking in his mouth like a silent... fart.

Suddenly, the door opened much quicker than expected and Hans tensed at the long squeaking noise which sounded far too loud in his mind which was pulsing with an aggravating headache. Kristoff stood there, eyeing Hans for a second before sighing and pressing his two fingers against the bridge of his nose, not looking too surprised that there was vomit dripping from the toilet seat.

"You really smell of booze" Kristoff stated the obvious, shaking his head slowly in disappointment. Hans held back a loose chuckle as he thought it funny Kristoff having the audacity to complain how others smell when he clearly was overdue a shower himself.

"I smell of _shame_" Hans croaked, running his fingers through his sweaty auburn hair.

"Jesus, Hans why do you always do this?!" Kristoff growled, bending down to pick up the empty glass bottle and a stray battered beer can that had ended up stranded in the bath tub. The sudden change of tone made Hans shudder. As if he wasn't use to hangovers already.

"I don't recall-" Hans stuttered, glancing around his surroundings, memories flooding in faster than a tsunami.

"Did you at least do what I asked before you got pissed?" Kristoff frowned.

"I-I… what?"

"I'll take that as a _no_ then…" another sigh escaped the blonde's lips as he furrowed his brows and stared hopefully at his roommate before him.

There was silence, Hans was debating on just collapsing there and then or retreating to his small box room. The redhead cleared his throat and licked his lips, positioning himself into a more comfortable position.

"What did you ask me?" Hans bravely asked, watching Kristoff's face switch to disappointed once again.

"Seriously? I told you to get a job!" Kristoff yelled, his hands flying in all directions above his head. Hans blinked before frowning.

"But you ask that _every _day" Hans corrected him with a small smirk. He slowly felt his nature returning to his in slow smooth waves. Hangovers? No longer was this guy left hanging over.

"Exactly my point" Kristoff sighed, turning to walk away through the door until he came to a halt and took a second to observe his surroundings then to Hans.

"And for Christ's sake, clean up this mess… and yourself" he finally spoke.

"Is the job forgotten then?" Hans queried, looking down into the toilet, feeling rather nauseous once more.

"No, we'll talk later" and with that, Kristoff paced out and Hans listened until the front door closed and clicked before he collapsed on his back, staring up at the ceiling tiresomely.

* * *

**_The salon_**

"Thanks for coming" Elsa smiled the best she could as her customer thanked her and strolled away from the salon. Once the lady with her new hairdo and sparkling nails was out of sight, Elsa took a sigh of relief and fell back in her chair, embracing the silence of the salon around her.

As she was leaning her head back and facing the ceiling, she felt as if sleep would be allowed after a long morning's shift of painting nails and cutting hair in either awkward silence or cliche small talk. Thank God it was over.

She was violently pulled from her seemingly best friend, sleep once she heard the door quickly push open, the small bell's chime vibrating throughout the space and pulling her from her doze.

Elsa batted her eyelashes a few times, raising her eyebrows once she caught sight of her sister, looking more lively than ever and hauling loaded shopping bags through the doorway.

"We're closed" Elsa lied, proceeding to stare up at the ceiling. Anna frowned at Elsa whilst unloading her bags onto the floor.

"No, you're not and I want my daily makeover!" Anna giggled, already seating herself on an empty chair.

"Ask Astrid, I'm off" Elsa croaked, lifting herself up and reaching for her handbag.

Anna quickly wrapped her fingers around Elsa's wrist, pulling her back slightly.

"Please Elsa, I want to talk to you as well" Anna smiled up at her sister warmly. Elsa posed, looking up into the air and tapping her chin with her index finger.

"Oh… kay then!" Elsa laughed, wheeling Anna's chair to the closest mirror and padding towards the hangers to retrieve a towel.

"So just a trim then?" Elsa asked, smoothing out Anna's red strands of hair.

"Yep, and a French manicure maybe?"

"Sure, going somewhere special?"

"Well… Kristoff is taking me out tonight and I want to look my best!"

Elsa wrapped the towel around Anna's shoulders and started combing through the hair.

"I see, where is it?" Elsa asked, trying to pay attention to both happenings.

"He hasn't told me but I'm guessing it's somewhere glamorous" Anna beamed. Elsa let out a scoff before picking up her scissors.

"Kristoff, glamorous? Don't make me laugh!"

"Well you'll be laughing on the other side of your face when I prove you wrong"

"Hmm… _sureee_".

Anna reached for a magazine and flipped through the pages, scanning the pictures far too quickly.

"So anyway, maybe one day you can double date with us?" Anna finally spoke up, filling in the silence. Elsa frowned.

"With Jack?" She questioned.

"Yes, unless you'd prefer Hans" Anna held back a laugh.

"No way, I'd have to be turned inside out before that happened"

"Ok, fine but how does it sound, maybe next week… me and Kristoff, you and Jack?"

Elsa shifted awkwardly onto one foot, having a small court of reasons, excuses playing over in her mind.

"He's too busy for that" Elsa sighed, dimming down the happy mood.

"What do you mean?" Anna flipped through the pages, marvelling a bun hairstyle that was sealed with green ribbon.

"I mean… I don't want to stop him having fun..."

Anna swivelled around on her chair, pulling a face at her sister.

"What makes you think that?!" She frowned.

"I- Just forget I ever said anything" Elsa stammered, pulling her attention away from the subject and setting her eyes upon Anna's magazine.

"Do yo want me to do that?" Elsa smiled, nodding down towards the bun hairstyle. Anna's features turned from cautious to pleading and she grinned shyly up at Elsa.

"Please…" she squeaked nervously. Elsa chuckled before gliding across the room to fetch a ribbon.

* * *

**_Kristoff's house_**

Hans ran his fingers through his slightly damp auburn hair, observing the bathroom he had attempted to clean.

"...It will do" he finally dismissed himself into the kitchen, just happy that the rest of the black, white and grey furniture was all in the perfect order intended.

No sooner had he poured himself a mug of coffee and and snuggled between cushions on the couch, the door opened slowly and Hans sank into the cushioned seat only to jump slightly, hot coffee splashing onto his exposed chest and dripping down the fabric of his vest once he heard the unexpectedly loud voice of Sven.

"Ahh you fucking pr-"

"Ah, ah… that's no way to talk to Sven now is it?" Sven cooed, raising one eyebrow as he took a seat next to Hans, his phone balancing in the palm of his hand. Sven instantly gasped once he met Hans' clouded green gaze. His eyes were sunken in and his face was glowing a somewhat tinge of purple whilst his hair shot in all different directions.

"Wow… and I thought _I _looked like shit in the mornings" Sven curled his words off with a whistle, not daring to meet Hans' unamused glare once more.

"Gee… _thanks_"

"You're welcome".

Sven flipped on the television over to the soccer game and started babbling on some more.

"So anyway, I've entered a competition" he started, keeping his eyes pinned onto the screen. Hans looked up at his brown-eyed and brunette friend whose smell was appalling and his face was dotted in uneven stubble. Hans just had to wonder what kind of competition Sven could possibly have entered.

"... And that is…?" Hans spoke his thoughts.

"A car touching competition" Sven replied.

"A car touching competition?" Hans repeated.

"A car touching… competition" Sven finished.

Hans facepalmed himself feeling that it was simply a waste of time.

"Ok, what car is it?" Hans asked, trying to make light of the situation. A smirk crawled up Sven's face.

"A Porsche Macan..."

"YOU WHAT?!" Hans instantly jumped to his feet, causing the now-cold coffee to fall in it's mug from Hans' lap and land on the floor, brown liquid puddling on the white carpet.

"This is like- I mean, you've got win this because-" Hans was interrupted.

"It's a sweet motherfucking ride!" Sven finished, holding up his hand to high-five his friend. The two got to their feet and started happily waltzing around the livingroom and kitchen, cheering, laughing and humming.

Sven averted his eyes towards the two holding hands as they came to a standstill and his eyes widened before looking up at Hans.

"Dude…. you're-"

"I know… I know"

* * *

**_New York City_**

The city concaved Anna in loud noises of cars and people as she paced down the busy sidewalk, her shopping bags balancing across each of her arms. Anna came to a halt and held up her hands, observing her freshly manicured fingernails before dialing in Kristoff's number on her mobile.

The phone rested in between her shoulder and ear as she felt it ring. It buzzed three times before she heard the rough and familiar voice of Kristoff. A smile lit her face as she said hello and started to talk in fast confusing ripples.

"Khristopher!" She teased through the phone.

"Oh… hey Anna" Kristoff replied dully.

"H-hey, what's wrong?"

"It's just Hans… I'll talk to you about it later"

"Ok, where will we be talking anyway because you still haven't told me…."

"You'll see, I'll pick you up at seven, just don't wait up"

"... Fine but if we're going to a greasy diner then I swear-"

"We're not, I promise"

"Ok, ok… I'll see you at seven then"

"You will… I love you"

"I love you too"

"Bye" they spoke in sync and Anna ended the call, pressing the mobile to her chest, looking up at the sky with an airy smile. Her heart was fluttering. Even after five years of being together, Kristoff still had this effect on her.

She was interrupted by a man barging into her, nearly knocking her off of her green heels. She frowned and huffed at him before walking to the edge of the sidewalk and holding out her hand, signalling for a cab.

Soon enough, the yellow vehicle pulled up and she jumped in, heading home with a grin spreading like butter, a mile across her face.

* * *

_Next Time:_

_Anna and Kristoff go on their date and Kristoff has an important question, Elsa has some thinking time with Jack and Sven prepares for his competition with Hans as his teacher._

* * *

**A/N:**** This episode is fairly short because I just basically wanted to introduce the series by introducing the main characters, nonetheless. I hope you enjoyed it.**

**Also, much like a TV show, there will be one new chapter/episode each week. Maybe twice if I can manage. The next chapters will be much longer, I swear. I will also at the top write a 'previously on' so you remember. Please leave a review because they really motivate me. Flames are also welcome... lol I just got my first hate comment EVER on this story... I celebrated. **

**So yeah, review, favourite and follow if you would like more and also check out aidan bale's stories because they're really good and this story was originally his idea. **

**~MaliJo**


	3. It Costs Loads To Look Cheap

_Previously:_

_Sven entered a car competition, Kristoff and Anna planned a date, Hans had a hangover and Elsa had a few doubts about her relationship with Jack._

* * *

**Episode Two**

It Costs Loads To Look Cheap

* * *

_**Kristoff's apartment**_

"Ok, get up off your lazy arse, it's time for training" Hans ordered with a smug smile as he passed Sven who was lazily snoozing upon the couch, drooling over his game controller. Sven jumped horrendously at Hans' deep words that rattled throughout his mind.

"What, you killed Kenny!?" Sven yelled, the game controller sliding from his chest and onto the floor with a thump.

Hans' smile faded into a frown.

"What? No" he retorted, his arms folded as he watched his friend struggle from his awakening. Now that Hans' hangover had passed, he felt all high and mighty and when he was pretty much straight, it would be Hans the one in charge.

"Time to train you up" Hans announced, the smile returning widely. Sven frowned at him.

"Are you fucking high?" He questioned, awkwardly standing to his feet. Hans held up his hand and rotated it before his eyes just to make sure before answering positively.

"No…".

Sven stared at him for a while, not really knowing how to extended the conversation.

"Wanna' get laid?" He finally broke the silence.

"With who?" Hans raised his eyebrows.

"I don't know, anyone who will be willing to actually give you a go".

Hans let out a series of bellowed laughter before coming to a halt and looking across at Sven with the hint of a smile sealing his lips.

"That's funny because I'm pretty sure the only person who would be willing to give you a go would be Olaf" he replied.

Sven held back for a moment, looking deep into the floor as if he were actually contemplating the idea.

"Well you know what they say, sometimes your knight in shining armour is just a retard in tin foil" Sven agreed, shrugging his shoulders.

"They don't say that" Hans breathed.

"They do...trust me, they do".

Hans sighed, pressing his index finger and thumb against the bridge of his nose.

"Let's begin shall we?". He paced over to the fridge and pulled out a bunch of bright orange carrots before laying them out onto the kitchen counter, in Sven's perfect view. Sven shrugged and shook his head at Hans, silently asking for an explanation.

"Am I being punished or something?" Sven guessed, watching Hans' face turn sidewards.

"I am teaching you how to win a sweet ass car, got a problem then go to see if Olaf will give you a ride if you get what I mean because I'm positive he will and-"

"Ok, I get the idea…" Sven hushed "so what the heck am I meant to do?"

"Touch these carrots and keep your hands on them without removing them to eat them" Hans explained. Sven rolled his eyes in boredom.

"Can't we just get high instead?" Sven argued tiresomely.

"No! Now get your trampy ass over here".

"I think riding Olaf would be more fun than this" Sven muttered under his breath as he trailed to where Hans was pointing.

* * *

_**Elsa and Anna's Apartment **_

"What do you think, this one, or this one?" Anna frowned at herself in the mirror of Elsa's room, holding up various dresses. Elsa had practically fallen asleep with the constant hours of babbling from Anna, feeling a strong headache occupy her mind.

"Come on, elegant and green or sexy and red?" Anna asked. Elsa lifted her head for a brief second to behold before her, Anna holding up a velvet green dress that would reach her ankles with silver embroidery and in her other hand, a short tight gripping thing that was so brightly red, it made Elsa flinch.

"Do whatever you want" she finally answered and Anna sighed before turning to face Elsa's long mirror once more, frantically holding each dress in front of her.

"Arghh! You don't know how annoying this is" Anna growled.

"Actually I'm starting to feel it" Elsa murmured under the fabric of her pillow.

"I think I'll go with short and red, I mean…." Anna glanced at the rich green dress "I don't want to stand out too much..."

Elsa snorted, causing the pillow to fall from her face and to the floor.

"You're right, I mean the only thing that will be standing out from the red dress is your ass cheeks" Elsa chortled.

"It's not that short..."

"No, it is _that _short".

"Well, it shouldn't really matter what I wear because it's not like Kristoff is going to take me to 'Masa' or 'Del Posto'..."

"How can you be so sure?" Elsa sat at the end of the bed and placed her hands atop her knees whilst Anna continued to observe her dresses.

"Well, for one… he's broke and two… he's well… um, he's... Kristoff" Anna stuttered awkwardly, starting to step into her tight red dress and pull it up her small body.

"That's nice" Elsa smiled sarcastically.

"It is, isn't it!?" Anna cooed, mistaking Elsa's complaint as a comment towards the dress as she twirled around in it.

"Hey Anna, are thongs comfortable?" Elsa asked, raising her eyebrows as she watched Anna spin and bend towards the mirror.

"Absolutely not, why do you ask?"

"I can see yours, lacey and black… do you have no shame?"

"None at all". Anna started to dust her cheeks in a peach-coloured powder and scanned down through her new range of make up.

"So I'm seeing Jack tonight…" Elsa started, hoping to change the topic of thongs.

"Ok, that's nice, have fun" Anna babbled faster than flash.

"But I-"

"So which lipstick colour? The same red or black?" Anna discreetly asked, holding up two small barrels of lipstick. It was already beginning to get dark and Anna was going through the same short and sexy or long and classy chat, again.

Elsa fell back onto the mattress, staring at the ceiling. It had been at least two hours, why hadn't she kicked her sister out of her room yet?

"Jesus Christ Anna, it's lipstick, you put it on your lips and it ends up coming off at prom within the first hour, all over Hiccup Haddock's face, despite he's a nerd who drew pictures of you when you weren't looking".

Anna stared at the blonde blankly, daring to blink.

"Wow, you were unfortunate" Anna said quietly.

"I was"

"Although I hear that guy's a total hottie now"

"Cool…" Elsa stood up and started dragging herself out of her room.

"Wait where are you going?!" Anna called.

"To get a scotch" Elsa replied blandly.

"But we haven't decided on what shoes and jewelry I should wear or what mentos I should take, mint, strawberry?!"

Elsa sighed before walking away, much to the effect of a zombie, she wasn't looking forward to Jack coming over to be perfectly honest, she would have to talk to him and he had no rules, he never listened so what was the point? It wasn't like she was going to break up with him but they needed to talk and get everything sorted or…

"Oh God, I'm talking to myself again" Elsa realised before shaking her head in dismissal and exciting herself towards her mini-bar for a well-deserved scotch.

* * *

_**Kristoff's apartment **_

Sven sighed in boredom as he kept his hands fixed on the bunch of cold carrots, feeling bored and glaring longingly at the game controller that was still resting on the floor.

"Ok… I'm gonna' come out and say it" Sven started.

"You're gay? That's ok, I already knew" Hans spoke almost unconsciously, patting his friend on the back.

"No I mean this is-"

"It's ok, I won't judge… You're very brave to escape Narnia, not everyone makes it out of the closet in time".

"No, just listen!" Sven yelled. Hans looked to him with a blank page plastered across his face, ready to be written on.

"This is pointless, can I please let go?" Sven pleaded.

Hans glanced to his timer and shook his head.

"Not for another… four hours and twenty-seven minutes" He confirmed. Sven threw his head back in defeat and began to droop his arms.

"I'm leaving, if these carrots turn into boobs I may stay but…"

Hans quickly stopped Sven from releasing his grip on the carrots and smirked down at him.

"Well… I could exchange them for something better than boobs" Hans snarled.

"Please, what is better than boobs? Enlighten me"

The redhead placed a small clear bag of grinded green weed and watched as Sven's eyes widened.

"Dope" Hans replied, slipping the small bag under Sven's fingers.

"You let go, I get it back. But if you stay, you get the bag and i'll even chuck in a free white line" Hans persuaded, his tone strong yet smooth as if talking about pot and crack were the most normal foundations of a conversation.

"... I don't do no white lines" Sven wobbled, keeping his eyes fixed on the tiny bag his fingers were resting on top of, as if it would run away at any given moment.

"It was just a suggestion, take or leave..."

"Take!"

"Good choice".

* * *

_**Outside Elsa and Anna's apartment **_

Anna skipped down the stone steps of their apartment building and landed in her black stiletto heels on the concrete ground, in amongst the many sounds of the city. The city that shone so bright at night.

She had eventually decided upon black lipstick and heels whilst she tied her hair into a ponytail and carried a small red handbag that hovered beneath her arm. Anna pulled out her phone and checked the time once more as well as Kristoff's recent text messages. He said to meet outside her apartment at seven. Anna pulled her gaze away from the phone screen and glanced round each corner, no sign of Kristoff.

"Well…" She hummed, seeing that it was now four minutes past seven "... time for a selfie".

Anna flipped onto camera mode and started shooting herself with the clicks of the camera after she pouted and posed in her tight dress that made a weird rubbing sounds each time she moved and she couldn't help thinking that for such an expensive dress (or could she even call it such a thing), it was awfully cheap.

She was fully aware that Elsa was eyeing her through the window, up on the fourth floor, looking down with a small glass of scotch in her palm. Elsa shook her head with the smallest of smiles.

"Hey Anna, I'm almost positive that something is going to go wrong so if it does…" Elsa yelled from the window.

"Yeah…?" Anna answered slowly.

"Then don't come back in the apartment"

"Well… why the heck not?"

"Wow, you were paying attention, Jack is coming over"

"Oh I see…" Anna's grin went a mile wide and Elsa frowned at her and her flushed cheeks could be visible from down on the street.

"Y-yeah well… have fun at KFC!" Elsa stuttered loudly before slamming the window shut and turning away to call Jack. Anna smiled up at her shouting "I will!"

Anna watched till the very last second until Elsa was out of sight and her smile faded, she suddenly felt alone, despite all the busy people pacing around her and the yellow cabs driving past like a herd of deer. After a few moments of tapping her heels against the ground and whistling a few tunes she had heard on the radio, her patience wore thin.

She called Kristoff and waited, her eyebrows stiff and her lips scrunched angrily, fifteen minutes, seriously?! And… typical, the phone goes to answer phone. Anna waits until she hears the beep and starts to ramble on.

"Ok, seriously if you're that embarrassed about taking me to burger king, then fine, don't pick me up but at least call me! I mean seriously, it's freezing and I'm wearing a fucking thong out here… for all we know, I could get mugged any moment! I mean, the purse is worth more than the money that's in it! And when I find you I am going to-"

"Anna!" The voice echoed through the street as if they were in a tunnel and Anna quickly looked up, her anger flaring into both worry and comfort.

"Anna!" It sounded again but louder, closer.

"Kristoff?" Kristoff was running towards her from the end of the street, he looked flustered and exhausted but still, it didn't take too long for him to sprint towards Anna and rested upon his knees as he stood before her.

Kristoff panted, trying to regain breath and looked up, expecting to see Anna's cheery face but instead was met with what her skirt had to offer.

"Anna, seriously… a thong?" Kristoff swallowed, his breath normal and smooth once more. Anna went slightly red and for the first time in forever on this night, she was regretting the tacky dress.

"Um… yup, new trend ya' see" she giggled nervously, dropping her mobile into her handbag and fishing out a lipstick to quickly pucker up her lips.

Kristoff simply ignored the dress, it wasn't going to be… too noticeable, he hoped anyway. Anna rolled her eyes up and down Kristoff's figure and her eyes widened, he was wearing a suit. Not his musky olive-green suit that he would wear for work but it was sleek and black, she suddenly felt much cheaper than she looked.

"Hehe… it's a fancy diner then? So i'm not overdressed…" Anna laughed awkwardly, fiddling with her handbag.

"A diner?" Kristoff repeated.

"Well… that's where we're going, right?"

Kristoff evaluated his decisions in his mind, keep it a surprise or tell her? Of course, he was a man of surprises, unfortunately… Anna was not a fan and definitely not on his particular night.

"Eh… urrr… Something like that, yeah" Kristoff stammered.

"Ok well… I need to get changed so can I maybe just-" Anna was interrupted.

"No way, you take longer getting changed than Sven does watching porn" Kristoff huffed.

"Ohh, Kristoff… _please…" _Anna widened her big teal eyes and quivered her lips as Kristoff eyed her with one eyebrow raised.

"No, our ride will be here any minute".

"Babe, cabs come every minute, we can wait" Anna pleaded quietly, snuggling up to his chest and still looking up to him with watery eyes.

"What makes you think we're getting a cab?" Kristoff chuckled. Anna pulled away, her puppy-face long gone.

"Come on Kristoff! You know how much I hate surprises"

"I do… I really do"

"Just let me at least put on some proper underwear, my hooha feels like ice" Anna argued, her hands on her hips.

"What…?"

"Don't ask"

"I won't"

"Can I go?"

"... be quick".

Anna's face lit up like the fourth of July and she pounced at the chance, practically jumping up those steps. She stopped dead in her tracks when she heard a familiar voice stir her.

"Well hello, Anna". She spun around and went pale when before her was standing Jack Frost.

"Oh hey Jack…" she awkwardly giggled.

"Aren't you supposed to be on a date?" He questioned, his hands resting in the darkness of his hoodie's pocket.

"Um… yeah, funny story, I'd love to stay and talk but, got some… issues to take care of so...yah" she continued to jump up the steps again.

Jack suddenly hooked his pointless staff around her waist, stopping her from proceeding any further.

"Nice try" He chuckled, hopping up each step until he was by the door.

"Let me go, I need to change!" She demanded.

"Nope, Elsa told me not to let you in if I see you here and well… I don't want you in either" he concluded.

"Why not? I'm a pleasure to be around!"

"I know you are it's just… well, Elsa's going to be a pleasure to be on top of so…"

"Jesus Christ Jack, that's my sister we're talking about"

"All the more fun" he smirked before opening the doors to the building."See ya!"

Anna watched as he raced up the staircase and sighed.

"I don't want to watch that but…" she glanced down at her dress "I need to change" she was about to open the door until Kristoff called her name.

"Anna, quick!" he called, his hands cupped over his mouth.

"What s it?!" She yelled back.

"Our ride is here!"

"It can wait ten minutes, I'm sure!"

"Yes but you know dinner reservations can't".

Anna sighed deeply before trailing down the steps and towards Kristoff. Dinner reservations? How fancy was this diner exactly? She came to a sudden halt when she caught sight of a long black limousine and Kristoff with a big grin, holding the door open for her. Of course her mouth was much wider ajar than the door.

"Kristoff what the-"

"Just get in, we'll talk on the way" he smiled. Anna climbed in shakily and sheepishly took a seat before Kristoff occupied the one next to her.

"Champagne?" He smiled, holding out a green bottle and two long glasses.

"Heh… give me the whole bottle and I might just be able to handle this night" Anna breathed.

* * *

_**Elsa's apartment **_

Jack knocked on the door, running his fingers through his hair and standing straight and smart as Elsa opened the door. As she opened the door, Jack quickly bent down and pulled her into a kiss. She widened her eyes and pulled him inside before closing the door quickly.

"Hey beautiful" Jack smirked as she panted against the door.

"Jack, don't do that, the neighbours might have seen"

"Let them" he took a seat on Elsa's blue couch after leaning his staff against the wall.

"Beer?" Elsa asked as she swerved past her refrigerator.

"Please" he nodded, watching as she opened the door and fished out a can of Fosters. Elsa then drifted towards him and handed him his beer before taking the seat next to him. He draped his arm around her and smiled as she leant into him.

"What was it you wanted to talk about then?" He asked, popping open the can lid.

"This" she told him.

"The beer?"

"No.. Us, you and me…"

"Woah, woah, are you breaking up with me?"

"No, no!" She smoothed her hands over his chest and smiled weakly up at him.

"It's just… I hate it when you leave and I know you're still living for the moment but I feel like… like maybe you enjoy partying with your friends more than being with me and if that's the case then I really don't want to be the one holding you back from what you want to do…"

Jack stared at her as if she had just cast a spell upon him.

"No, of course you're not, I love being with you" he cooed, pulling her into a hug after he had set his beer can on the coffee table.

"Really?" Elsa sighed.

"Really" Jack confirmed, holding her tight. "I promise, I'll make time for me and you".

"You promise?"

"I cross my heart, hope to die" he chanted. "I love you, Elsa".

"I love you too" she smiled warmly up at him, her hands in her lap. They gazed at each other for a while until Jack's staff caught her attention and she rolled her eyes in disapproved.

"What?" He chuckled.

"Why do you insist on taking that stick around with you?" She asked, half laughing.

"Incase I get attacked or mugged"

"Jack you don't even wear shoes, no offence but you're broke and what can anyone possibly steal from you?"

"Point taken, that is the case most days but today, I was actually carrying something worthy".

"Like what?"

Jack reached inside his hoodie's pocket and pulled out a small and silver rectangular box. Elsa furrowed her brows, trying to make sense of what he was holding.

"What is it?" She asked, peering down at the box to see white spirals dotting it. Jack's face was laced with a smile of somewhat calm excitement as she gingerly took the box from him.

Elsa glanced up at him once more, silently asking if she could proceed. He nodded and she cleared her throat before delicately removing the lid.

"Jack what the hell!" She gasped as she scanned the item in the box. A necklace with a pure silver chain laid before her in it's silk padding, the pedant was a small silver snowflake encrusted with tiny sapphires and diamonds. Her mind was spinning and that headache was slowly but surely returning. Did he steal it? Was her first thought.

"Jack, how did you afford this?!" She shrieked, still unable to believe her eyes, it was so beautiful and well thought of, he couldn't have just quickly jumped into a store and stolen it.

"I came into some money, don't worry I didn't steal it" he reassured her, taking the box from her hands and placing it on his lap before he carefully pulled out the necklace.

He stood up and walked behind the couch before he delicately wrapped the thin and soft chain around Elsa's neck, clipping it at the back.

"There, it looks even more beautiful now it's on you" Jack smiled, marvelling it with soft blue eyes.

Elsa ran her fingers along the chain and smiled kindly up at Jack who had his arms ribboned around her neck as he pecked her cheeks with small cold kisses. After minutes of silent asking, Elsa finally returned a full kiss and smiled with her eyes closed as they both pulled away.

"You taste of scotch" he chuckled, licking his lips.

"I like myself a scotch that's old enough to drink it's own scotch" Elsa smirked as she ran her fingers across Jack's angular jawline.

"Good enough for me" he grinned before scooping her up into his arms and carrying her off to her bedroom.

* * *

_**The limousine**_

They had been driving for ten minutes now and Anna was still trying to get over the fact that she was sitting in a limousine and sipping champagne that had golden flakes floating around it like fish.

"Kristoff, how did you afford all this?" She asked, enjoying the smoothness of the driving.

"Mr. Weselton gave me a raise and I wanted to take you out for the night" he explained.

"So let me guess, we're actually going somewhere nice?"

"Well I may as well tell you that we're going to 'Del Posto' and I've been planning this night for a while now". Kristoff fumbled in his pocket to make sure something was still there.

He glanced down at Anna who had throw her head in her hands and looked as if she were about to sulk.

"What? Did you think I was going to take you to a diner?" He almost chuckled. Anna lifted her face up, her red fringe fluffy and distorted.

"Did you not catch onto that?" She asked sarcastically. Kristoff swallowed, feeling some distance building up.

"If you really want to go somewhere else we can but-"

"No, no it's fine but remind them to take me off the menu"

"What do you mean? How come?"

"Because they might mistake me for a tart" Anna sighed looking down at her tight dress, she could practically feel the black leather of the seat on her bare butt cheeks.

Kristoff wrapped an arm around her, he didn't care what she wore but he didn't like it when she was upset, where did all her bubbles go?

"Come on feisty pants, we're nearly there, no one will care what you're wearing" he reassured her.

"I will and you can't call me that tonight" Anna huffed.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not actually wearing pants" she replied, shifting awkwardly in her thong.

"What are you, European?" He chuckled, still unaware of her underwear issue.

"No but we both know you are"

"Point taken… but what's wrong with a Norwegian man, eh?"

"Absolutely nothing" Anna smiled and rested on Kristoff's large shoulder.

The couple arrived at Del Posto quicker than expected and Anna was rather shaky whilst climbing out of the limousine, she just wanted to hide behind the dark windows of the vehicle and never come out but of course, their reservations would soon expire as the time flew by so she had no choice but to hurry.

Kristoff helped her out of the limousine and she wobbled slightly on her stilettos as she stood on the concrete.

"Thanks" Kristoff echoed at the driver who then drove off into the distance but he would shortly return.

Anna glared wearily through the windows at all the people in their best clothes and vintage handbags swung across their arms. Anna looked like she was off to a bachelorette party, not a bloody five star restaurant.

"Oh Kristoff… what ever happened to a good old microwave meal for two?" She sighed. Kristoff chuckled before slinking his arm around her waist and leading her to the doors. She gulped each time they took a step closer.

As they opened the doors and swiftly entered the large room, it was like walking into heaven. The warm heat embraced Anna's bare legs, arms _and _ bottom and she smiled in the soft orange light emitting from the lantern lights on the ceiling and candles flickering on the tables covered in white cloth. Right before her was a white marble staircase and everything was just so… tranquil.

"How may I help you this evening?" A man with tanned skin approached Kristoff with a faint smile and a menu in his hands.

"We made a reservation for eight o'clock" Kristoff explained.

"I see… name?"

"Bjorgman, Kristoff Bjorgman".

The man scanned through his list of names and smiled with a small nod when he spot Kristoff's name, clear and bold.

"Yes, please take a seat over there and a waiter will be with you shortly" the man guided the two towards a small table in the center of the room. He also raised his eyebrows once he caught sight of Anna's dress and walked away with his nose turned up, thankfully in time before Anna stuck her middle finger up at him.

"Nice, isn't it?" Kristoff remarked, sitting down and lying a napkin atop his lap.

"Hmm yeah" Anna mumbled.

"Aren't you enjoying it?"

"Not particularly"

"Come on, Anna cheer up"

"I should have worn the damn green dress, stupid Elsa and her advice".

Kristoff placed his hand on Anna's and silenced her with a small smile.

"You look beautiful, stop worrying"

"Thanks babe". The two pecked each other's lips before observing the menu.

"Ew who the heck would eat ostrich?" Anna asked, making a face.

"Don't know, don't care, what are you going to have?" he replied, taking a swig of his water.

"Lasagne"

"Ok, I'll have the Pecorino" Kristoff turned to the waiter. "You got that?"

* * *

_**Elsa's apartment**_

It was dark in her room but the slight chill made it feel all the warmer, which was strange but comforting. Her head rested on Jack's bare chest and she could feel his heart beating against her ear.

"Elsa…" he began quietly, she felt the vibration of his voice and looked up to meet his eyes that sparkled in the dark.

"Yes?" She whispered expectantly.

"I have to go"

"No, please stay" Elsa's voice went much louder and she sat up to face him properly, using the blanket to cover her own bare chest.

"I have to, I'm sorry" Jack sighed, pushing himself up off the bed and to his feet on the ground. Elsa watched with worried eyes as he ventured around the room searching for his clothes. She hated being alone and she knew Anna would end up staying round Kristoff's for the night so she would be in the apartment until morning, all by herself.

"You always leave after we make love, what's so important that you can't just stay for a while longer" she growled, her eyes watery and misty. Jack looked up at her with a surprised expression and padded over towards her once more before climbing upon the bed and snuggling up towards Elsa.

"Baby, don't be like this, I'll come back in the morning".

Elsa stayed silent, the only sounds in the room was both their breathing, out of tune with one another.

He planted a kiss on her cheek and reached to the bottom of the bed to retrieve his hoodie.

"Call me if you need anything" he whispered, noticing she was slowly falling asleep.

"I love you" he added as he got to the doorway.

"I love you too" Elsa mumbled, he smiled at her sleeping form before opening the door, letting the light of the hallway filter through the small gap.

Elsa waited until she heard the front door open and close before she opened her eyes, sighing in the mostly dark room and silence. For once, she was actually _missing _Anna's constant rambling since the silence was becoming slow torture.

She fiddled with her new necklace, wishing someone was there to make a noise, hold her close. She also wondered where Jack rushed off to most nights.

* * *

_**Del Posto**_

"This is actually quite tasty" Anna spoke through a mouthful of lasagne.

"I'm glad" Kristoff nodded, silently dreading the cheque that was to come.

"Italian is all good but I think I prefer Norwegian still" Anna giggled, running her hand down Kristoff's arm.

"Potatoes and salmon, really?"

"Well potatoes aren't all bad and I'll tell you what looks like salmon, my-"

"Would you like your cheque now, sir?" A waiter asked, thankfully disturbing Anna's sentence.

"Not really" Kristoff spoke truthfully.

"Very well, desert?"

"There's something I need to do first..." Kristoff politely shooed the waiter away and fumbled through the inside pockets of his jacket before grasping what he needed.

He shakily drifted towards Anna and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Kristoff, what are you doing?" Anna dryly asked.

He cleared his throat before he pulled a small dark blue box from his jacket and bent down on one knee. Anna's eyes flew open as she swallowed her mouthful whole, her heart racing yet her breath getting caught in her throat.

"What are you-"

"Anna Arendelle, will you err… marry me?" Kristoff stammered, his eyes tight shut in case of a bad outcome. Anna stared at him, hardly believing his words, how long has she waited for this? Hell, she wanted to marry the guy when they first met! Her answer was crystal clear but it appeared everyone who had began watching and Kristoff were starting to take her stunned silence as a rejection.

"Oh Kristopher, of course I'll marry you!" She squaled in glee, wrapping her arms around him, happy tears swelling around her eyelids. Everyone in the restaurant witnessing started to cheer and clap for the happy couple.

Anna's tight hold was keeping Kristoff knelt on the ground, awkwardly sliding the ring onto Anna's wedding finger. She couldn't rid of her smile, it could reach to the moon and back if given the chance. Kristoff smiled as well, although his nervousness was creeping up on him once more.

As if by chance, he looked forward where her skirt lifted to the boundaries of her waist and frowned before averting his eyes up to Anna's face and lifting himself to whisper in her ear.

"You're right, it _does _look like salmon" he stated.

"Shut up and swing me around in the hair, you big potato" Anna giggled.

* * *

_**Outside Kristoff's apartment**_

Anna couldn't stop staring at her ring, twirling it around in the light so it shimmered. It was gold with glass crystals and she had never felt her heart beat so fast in her entire life up until Kristoff finally proposed. The dress didn't even matter anymore.

"I love you so much" Anna beamed.

"I love you too" Kristoff smiled.

"I love you more"

"I love you _most_"

Finally, they approached Kristoff''s apartment door and the loving and calm atmosphere was changed once they heard heavy panting from inside. Their voices were muffled but they didn't half sound bad.

"_Come on Sven, harder!"_

"_I can't, Hans, I just can't"_

"_But we're so close!"_

"_No, I'm going to let it go!"_

"_Not now!"_

"_But it' so hard…"_

"_You have to keep on going!"_

"_But Hans… why do you have to be so God damn tight"_

"_You're nearly there just push a little harder…"_

"What the fuck is going on!" Kristoff yelled, pushing open the door and expecting the worst as Anna huddled behind him.

Sven was at the kitchen counter, his hands resting upon a small bag of weed whilst Hans was standing beside him, holding a timer in his shaky hands. Sven's face was so thin and red that the veins were popping out and pulsing like bullets as he kept his mind away from temptation.

"You can do it!" Hans started to count down from ten.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and get high!" Sven grabbed the bag in his clammy hands and started to shake it into a spliff quicker than lightning.

"Oh hey Kristoff" Hans laughed triumphantly "and Anna".

"Yeah… so what in God's name were you doing just then?"

"Nothing much…" Hans breathed.

"We're practicing for my ca-" Sven's mouth got cut off by Hans' palm.

"For his… cannabis addiction… giveaway… workshop… thingy and he really needs to get going" Hans rudely pushed Sven out of the apartment, acting rather suspicious.

"Hey, what about my white line?!" Sven angrily knocked on the door. Hans opened it for only a split second.

"I'll text you just don't mention the competition to Kristoff".

* * *

_Next Time:_

_Sven has trouble keeping his competition a secret from Kristoff, we meet Elsa's boss, Hans gets a long lecture from Kristoff and Anna is already planning a huge engagement party._

* * *

**A/N: So I hope you enjoyed this episode! It's literally the longest chapter I've written for anything on this site. **

**This was supposed to be posted yesterday but I fell asleep whilst writing it and yeah xD **

**I realise that I have no sense of humour and that I'm sorely lacking with good jokes and whatever. I'm one of those people that try to be funny and then end up in a massive awkward fail... yep so I'm trying my best with this comedy but I'm just not a funny person so a lot of the jokes on here will be from films and stuff but actually on this episode, most of it was mine... so it's not funny :D **

**People wandering about the story cover, it's a topless Hans because HE'S SO FANCY, YOU ALREADY KNOW! It also says 'Season 1' because I'll be doing separate stories for each season. Also, this was more for Jelsa fans, don't worry Helsa fans, your fill is coming up soon! Also to anyone who thinks Jack is being a dick, he does love Elsa, he's just got a secret... that some of you may know. DAYYM THESE AUTHOR NOTES ARE LONGER THAN KRISTOFF'S DI- (See, dirty all over, I'm like a translator), comes out the wrong end xD**

**Lastly, the HTTYD, Brave, Tangled, ROTG characters and many more will all be appearing soon, the character profile for Elsa's boss will be written and added to the 'Meet the Cast' before the next episode so watch out for that because I think you'll be surprised at who I picked :) **

**Please leave a review! See you next Saturday! ;P**

**~MaliJo x**

**UPDATE: I changed the chapter title, it's still the same chapter but new title :) **


	4. Nothing Out of the Ordinary

_Previously:_

_Anna and Kristoff went on their date where Kristoff daringly proposed. Anna could agree that it didn't go all to plan..., Hans decided that it would be best if Sven stayed quiet about his competition and Elsa received a necklace from Jack who is all too easy to forgive._

* * *

**Episode Three**

Nothing Out of the Ordinary

* * *

No matter what the occasion or what job you had, Monday was never a good day. It hit Kristoff and Elsa the most as their head left their pillows in the morning, they glanced to the clock and sighed before getting to their feet.

_**Kristoff's apartment **_

Kristoff stretched and yawned humongously before glancing to his side to see Anna sleeping peacefully beside him, not complaining about needing to be huddled up on a singular bed. He then remembered the events of the night before. The date, the limousine, the thongs… he smiled to himself because as of now, he had woken up and was settling his gaze upon his _fiance_.

Anna's eyes slowly fluttered open and she smiled warmly as she noticed Kristoff looking down at her. Was Anna a morning person? No, not at all. Her hair sprout into all directions possible and faint trails of dribble lined from the corners of her mouth and to her chin like fangs. But both her and Kristof was used it it now.

"Tell me, why do you stare at me when I'm asleep?" Anna teased. Unfortunately, Kristoff took it literally and his cheeks flushed red.

"I… um I-I-"

"Shh…" Anna hushed him and placed a kiss on his cheek before jumping out of bed and scanning the floor for her clothes.

"You can have a lie in if you want" Kristoff suggested. Anna shook her head as she gathered her now-sentimental red dress and folded it atop the bed.

"I've got work" she smiled, rushing to Kristoff's spare drawer where she kept her much more cosy clothes.

"At the movie theatre?" Kristoff questioned.

"No, sily. At starbucks" Anna corrected him with a giggle.

"I swear you get a new job every week"

"Well, it's not hard" Anna shrugged, starting to slide into her clothes one by one.

Kristoff took a minute to think and hummed the syllables of his thoughts. If it was so easy to get a job then why didn't Hans have one? Kristoff was aware that times are hard and Hans really had no qualifications but even still, what grade in biology did you need to clean a toilet or serve a coffee for God's sake?

"I'm going to make breakfast" Anna interrupted his thoughts and started waltzing towards the door. Kristoff looked down and realised he had yet to get changed, too lost in thought to notice that Anna had became decent before him which made him debate the stories Elsa would tell him of how long she would take to get changed.

"Dayyyymm" Anna let out a long whistle as she entered the living room for her sight to be set on Hans, a hangover, on the couch and basically just stating in his position that it was a typical morning in the apartment.

"Hey Anna have you seen my-" Kristoff came to an immediate halt as he too witnessed the familiar and aggravating sight before him. He face palmed himself and ran his fingers through his hair.

Anna, deciding that she'd cleverly avoid the situation, casually slipped towards the coffee filter and started to brew coffee for the three of them, pretending to ignore all the grunts Kristoff let out and the murmurs that escaped Hans' mouth as he slowly recovered.

"Hans, can you stop being a useless piece of shit for a moment and listen to me?!" Kristoff growled, lunging a thick cushion at the man who used it to cover his ears, trying to ignore Kristoff as he wriggled uncomfortably on the couch, curling up and closing his eyes once more.

Kristoff padded towards Hans and bent down to his ear, completely aware that Hans had no idea of his presence.

"Wake up!" Kristoff yelled right in his ear, making the hangover much more painful.

"...Gah you son of a bi-"

"Who wants coffee!?" Anna interrupted with a bright smile holding out a glass jug and three cups. Kristoff shook his head in disappointment and took the appliances from his fiance.

"Thanks" he sighed, pulling Anna into the corner of the room after placing the mugs and jug upon the counter.

"What is it?" Anna asked in a high tone, her eyes darting awkwardly around her.

"That wombat's arse" Kristoff mumbled, violently gesturing towards Hans. Anna smiled gently and placed her hand on his large shoulder.

"If you're really that bothered then what's stopping you from kicking him out?"

"Because… because, I don't know… he's Hans?"

"I thought he was a wombat's arse?"

"He is, that's why I feel sorry for him".

Anna giggled.

"Come on, lighten up, just keep on nagging him and I'm sure he'll upgrade to a Kim Kardashian ass instead" she reassured him with a slight smirk.

"That would be the day" Kristoff chuckled, looking up at the ceiling in thought.

* * *

_**Elsa's apartment**_

Elsa opened her eyes for the third time that morning. It turns out her fingers preferred the 'snooze' button on her alarm than anything else.

"Damn it" she cursed under her breath as she realised the time would be too short for her usual morning scotch. She looked beside her only to frown, the empty space next to her reminding her just how much of a jerk Jack was sometimes.

She could smell his aftershave on the sheets and faintly on her skin. It smelt of pine trees and frost, it just made her miss him all the more.

"Stupid Jack" she groaned, burying herself under the covers, debating whether she should phone in sick as she fiddled unconsciously with her new necklace, running the pads of her fingers against each point of the snowflake pendant.

Elsa then remembered that she absolutely couldn't skip today because her boss would be assessing her each move and if she wanted a raise some money for her next Ballantines bottle. Not to mention she and Anna needed to _eat _each day, than it was crucial that she attended today.

"Ugh, I hate being poor…" Elsa sighed as she got to her feet and made the bed before dragging herself to her closet.

* * *

_**Sven's apartment (Well… whatever you call it, he lives there… Let's leave it at that)**_

Sven's eyes were pink with excitement. The kind of excitement you gain with a puff, a joint and a spliff which basically means, the same thing over again because who actually eats breakfast these days?

He dialled a number on his phone and waited as it continued to ring, observing his untidy box apartment around him.

"Hello?" A stubby and bleary voice sounded.

"Ah, Hans!" Sven laughed much too uncalled for.

"You're high aren't you?" Hans guessed, holding the phone at a safe distance after Kristoff's shouting.

"And you have a hangover, right? We never change" Sven deadpanned.

"I suppose you have a point"

"What I don't get though is how you can get so drunk when you _never _leave the apartment"

"I watched Bridget Jones' Diary, I needed a six pack of booze to get through the entire movie without throwing up"

"Fair enough".

"But anyway, I wanted to talk to you about last night and basically why can't I tell Kristoff about the competition?" Sven asked, his voice serious and slightly pleading.

"Because…" Hans waited for Kristoff leave the room before he proceeded in a quick but hushed tone.

"Because you know how much he loves cars, he'll definitely compete against you for a chance to win a Porsche"

"What makes you think he'll win?"

"When have you ever won anything, Sven?"

"I won an invitation to the pants party"

"...What?"

"Yeah a drunk guy who was watching Bridget Jones' Diary called me up last night and invited me..."

Hans bit his tongue.

"Ok that never leaves this conversation"

"Sure, sure" Sven grinned.

"I'll talk to you later"

"See you at midnight"

"Why?"

"Oh am I not invited anymore?" Sven questioned in a tone of surprise, fighting back the urge to laugh.

"See you, Sven" Hans sighed. He hung up and Sven reached out for his box of 'treats' as he called them grinned on what he saw. He knew half of it was to sell but the other half was all his, to smoke, to bake, to make love to.

"Yep" Sven grinned, taking his pick.

* * *

_**Kristoff's apartment **_

Hans struggled to his feet and drifted towards the coffee jug in his underwear.

"See you later" he heard Anna smile from the front door and both her and Kristoff shared a kiss before the door closed and Hans knew what was coming… the speech.

Hans briskly poured the coffee into a new white mug and rubbed his eyes, feeling the blow of his hangover wear off as he inhaled the bitter scent of hot coffee. His mind was interrupted by the clumpy way Kristoff walked, down the short of the hallways and to the kitchen where Hans was dreading his visit.

"Hans we-"

"Oh is it that time already?" Hans laughed maniacally, spilling splashes coffee upon the tiles and he threw his arms in the air.

"Oops…" Hans gulped, watching the brown liquid puddle at his feet.

"See this is what I mean, you have _no _respect at all!" Kristoff yelled, clomping towards the kitchen draws and fishing out a tea towel.

"You have no respect for this flat, my fiance, me or even _yourself_" Kristoff chucked the tea towel at Hans who discretely clamped his tired fingers upon the chequered fabric.

"You guys are engaged?" Hans said in surprise, his eyes wide and eyebrows raised. Kristoff pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed angrily.

"Lord, give me strength" he repeated to himself before turning to face Hans once more.

"How could you not know, Anna was going on about it all evening"

"Right…"

"Honestly Hans-"

"Yes but you do realise you got me to sleep on the couch last night so how would I have known what she was talking about?"

"Don't get cocky with me, I've had it up to here with you!" Kristoff growled, gesturing his hands above him.

"And you're damn right that I tell you, you sleep on the couch because until you start paying rent, then everything that occurs in this house is down to _me_".

"Uh-huh…" Hans breathed awkwardly.

"If that's true then I guess the spilt coffee is down to you then?" Hans added, ignoring the moral of his roommate's words.

"Absolutely not. Clean it up, clean yourself up and GET A JOB!"

Kristoff stormed out of kitchen, heading towards the door.

"Where are you going?!" Hans called after him.

"Some of us actually have _work" _Kristoff answered sarcastically.

"What idiots" Hans chuckled before he heard the door slam shut, making Hans flinch slightly.

As if one thing was timed after another to stop Hans from taking a sip of his morning coffee, his phone started buzzing and he answered it to hear the quivering voice of Sven.

"Dude, you just talked to me" Hans sighed, face-palming himself.

"Y-yes but I-"

"Ate too much mushrooms?"

"No"

"Slept with Olaf?"

"...No"

"Oh God, you ran over a reindeer!"

"No!"

"...Well, I'm stuck for answers then"

"Just listen…" Sven wobbled.

"I'm listening" Hans ushered.

"Ok, deals off… I can't keep the competition from Kristoff"

"Sven, that guy would literally kill people to win that car, you should have seen him a minute ago. He looked like he had just strangled a puppy"

"Hans please… I just _can't _keep secrets from people, especially not my best friend..."

"Ah-he-he-hem _best friend, what?" _Ah-he-hem _Hans is your best friend_" Hans spoke between forced coughs.

"Yeah well you're not acting like one"

"Sure I am, let's go to a strip club tonight, I'll buy you a drink, I'll buy you a whore, no biggie just don't open your little pussy mouth to Kristoff about the competition, ok?" Hans hung up sighing to himself.

He knew if Kristoff found out about the competition, he _would _enter it and win it. Once he would win it, it's just another thing to pester Hans about. A job, a girlfriend, a bed _and _a car. Hans couldn't give a flying fuck about all that right now, so he ventured through his and Kristoff's room for some anime porn. He had no shame.

* * *

_**The salon**_

The fact it was raining outside and Elsa was already late really didn't help. She had hastily grabbed her umbrella and made a dash through the streets of New York and to work which she wasn't so happy about. Work at the salon had started off as a pretty decent job. The pay was minimum and the hours were long, one mistake could cause her a lot of agony but still, Gothel had always complimented the blonde on her work which was rare to reieve from such a vain, self-obsessed lady who was more plastic than human. But that was besides the point. Her struggle was endless.

It was even worse when the umbrella blew inside-out and rain started showering her in fury.

"Fucking cheap piece of plastic!" She cursed, not sure if she was talking abot her umbrella or her boss…

When Elsa finally emerged after much swearing and feeling sorry for herself, she huddled into the salon, letting the warmth embrace her cold and wet body yet it nearly felt as if the heat was _burning _her skin.

"Elsa!" Gothel greeted. The curly-haired lady swooped towards Elsa and placed her hands on the shivering shoulders, pouting almost sarcastically.

"Are we ok?" She asked Elsa, the same way one would ask a baby.

"I'm fine" Elsa sighed, trying not to lose her temper in front of her boss and gently shrugging off Gothel's hands.

She knew that there wouldn't be any customers unless sunny Jim would decide to show because _no _person would get a haircut and facial then go straight out in the rain afterwards.

_I should have stayed in bed…_

Elsa slumped towards the small staff bathroom, taking a towel before she opened the door and wrapped it around her hair that was drenched in cold rain water. As she examined herself in the mirror, she noticed her eyeliner had ran half way across her face that appeared raw and flustered.

"Oh God" She sighed, splashing her face in warm water that prickled all the nerves on her cheeks.

"Elsa, darling… customer!" Gothel called, breaking into song.

"I'll be right out…" Elsa said back, reaching in her handbag to quickly touch up her face.

When she soon retreated from the bathroom, as presentable as she could make herself, she was surprised to find Anna smiling at her with a tray loaded with two brown paper bags and two full plastic coffee cups.

"Anna…" Elsa sighed, trying to smile yet the fact she had to rush to make herself look decent was suppressing her happy thoughts and feelings.

"Nice to see you too!" Anna giggled, placing the tray onto the clean counter.

"Sorry" Elsa replied, wondering why Anna was actually here.

"Another haircut?" Elsa asked with such lax attitude it made Anna frown.

"Actually no, I came to talk to you" the redhead replied with a wide grin. It looked as if she had been keeping in good news all night and Elsa couldn't help but let out a chuckle.

"Did the landlord finally leave us alone?" Elsa questioned, letting Anna take a seat.

"With all do respects, you're working" Goth interrupted, one eyebrow cocked in the air. Anna glanced around, pulling a face.

"There's no one here, this will only take five minutes…" Anna started, looking to Gothel. Elsa's boss stood for a minute, eyeing the girl cautiously.

"Look, I'll buy a manicure if you let me stay" Anna suggested, waving her hands in the air. Still, Gothel said nothing, just observed the two sisters with a blind eye.

"Fine! I'm holding you in charge of the salon for an hour though Elsa dear, Im off to get my botox!" Gothel announced, slinking her handbag on her arm and sliding through the door with a grin.

"Wow" Anna widened her eyes. "Is she always like that?"

"Pretty much".

Anna sat down on the same chair she had the day before and placed her hands on the table as Elsa started bringing the small trolley of nail varnish out into view.

"What did you want to tell me?" Elsa asked, bending down with a small towel.

"Well firstly, that coffee is yours" Anna said, gesturing towards the tray on the side.

"Aww thanks Anna but-"

"Don't worry, I added a bit of scotch to it..."

"You know me best!"

"Yes… but now might be time to admit you have a drinking problem"

"No, I seriously don't"

"That's what they all say!"

Elsa shook her head and rolled her eyes as she scanned through all the small bottles in search of a light, spring green for her sister.

"Aren't you supposed to be working?" Elsa asked, picking up the right shade and unscrewing the lid.

"Well, Audrey said she'd fill in for me so I can come and see you, plus I figured you'd had no breakfast".

"Aww… Anna- Wait what the…" Elsa's eyesight stumbled upon the golden ring that was slid onto Anna's wedding finger.

"Is this…"

Anna squealed in delight, looking to Elsa with her face flushed red with excitement.

"Kristoff proposed!" She squeaked as if she were a champagne bottle, waiting to pop open.

"A-Anna that's amazing…" Elsa stammered, unable to find correct words for the moment.

"I know, right!" Anna threw her arms around her sister and Elsa fondly returned the hug with a slight sting of fresh tears in her eyes. She knew without a doubt in her mind that Anna would be happy with Kristoff, he wouldn't break her heart.

"I'm guessing the date went well then?" Elsa sniffed with a smile.

"Oh yeah… that's a _crazy _story!" Anna giggled.

"Let's hear it then" Elsa reached for the tray of food and coffee whilst starting to paint Anna's nails, listening to each exaggerated and quirky word Anna spontaneously spoke.

* * *

_**Kristoff's apartment**_

Somehow, Hans had managed to tidy most of his mess and was now chilling, watching the television and sighing at each job interview advert that passed his eyes. If there was anything more annoying than being constantly reminded of how he needed to get a _life_ it wasSven, continuously texting Hans with worry. Most of the many texts went along the lines of...

'_I can't do it, let me tell him!_

_Friends don't keep secrets!_

_Damn… this is too hard... heh_

_If I've learnt anything from Bridget Jones, it's that you don't keep secrets… _

_Let me tell Kristoff, I don't even give a reindeer's shit if he enters as well! _

_When the fuck is your pants party?!'_

'Shut up you woman, did the painters come early or something?' Hans texted back, flopping onto the couch with a tiresome grunt. As he was thinking how he could avoid having to get a job and how Sven would shut up… something occurred to him. What would be the quickest way to get some money?

"What if I entered the competition..." Hans said aloud, breaking into laughter of a maniac and chucking his mobile out of the window.

* * *

_Next time:_

_Hans decides to enter the car touching competition but who is going to end up blurting it out to Kristoff? Anna and Elsa visit Olaf with the rest of the gang to watch his Friday night stand-up comedy and tell him the good news. Kristoff's just worried about his budget after he hears Anna's plans for their wedding reception..._

* * *

**A/N:**** Sorry this episode was so late! I won't bore you with my excuses but it's the end of my 8th school year and tests, tests, revision, more tests so yeah :/s****peaking of which I have French revision in a minute xD**

**This chapter isn't so... funny I guess (not that they ever are), perhaps next one will be which will hopefully be aired on this Saturday/Sunday like normal if everything goes according to plan. Thanks for your lovely reviews and follows and what not, I appreciate it all! :D Leave a review and... See you next chapter!**

**~MaliJo x**

**(P.S. For Jelsa/Helsa lovers, I put up a poll asking people to vote on which story they'd like me to publish next. With summaries at the bottom of my profile, I'd be really happy if you could check it out. For people who are into Helsa there is also an option of SCREW JELSA, STICK TO HELSA! So yeah :D) xx**


	5. Resist Temptation You Drunken Women!

_Previously:_

_Elsa has a close encounter with her boss, Anna is just there making coffee and Hans gets an idea to join Sven's competition after getting yet another lecture from Kristoff._

* * *

**Episode Four**

Resist Temptation You Drunken Women!

* * *

_**Somewhere in the lower-west side**_

It was an extremely windy Friday when Sven was immersing himself into his long-awaited car competition. It had taken three more days of resisting temptation with the help of Hans (and weed) to even come close to having a chance of succeeding.

"All contestants please place your hands upon the handprints provided" announced the judge before going on to explain further rules. Sven looked down at his handprint on the Porsche only to realise his number was thirteen.

"Great, just great" he sighed, feeling already unstable and unlucky as it was. He stiffly inhaled the strong and potent smell of familiar cologne and swivelled around to face none other than Hans. He glanced down at Hans occupying the twelfth handprint and wearing a lopsided smirk.

"Are you here to offer moral support or compete against me?" Sven sighed, not really wanting to hear the answer. Hans simply chuckled, none of them in-taking the blabbering of the judge in his microphone.

"I'm obviously here to win" he snarled before patting Sven hardly on the back. "But if support is what you want to give, be my guest, I could do with some you know".

The redhead was grinning from ear to ear and not just because he thrived from backstabbing is 'best' friend but it was refreshing to be the twelfth one, and not thirteenth as he was often ranked that number with his brothers.

"Hans…" Sven gulped.

"Dropping out so soon?" Hans mocked, agitated that Sven continued to tug impatiently on his jacket.

"Look…"

Hans sighed before scanning across the way only to see that obvious burly figure between two skinny men who withheld blonde features and a rather large nose.

"Son of a bitch" Hans breathed as he noted it was Kristoff competing amongst them. He suddenly arched his eyebrows and quickly faced Sven who was trembling slightly under his glare.

"You told him, didn't you?" Hans concluded. Sven swallowed thickly, averting his eyes to anyone besides Hans.

"I couldn't keep it in-"

"Pathetic, stupid, hairy, bloody idiot!"

"Heaven knows I tried!" Sven started to cry, his tears falling with the last of his dignity.

"You _know _how Kristoff has a car fetish, you're so stupid!" Hans growled, ignoring the crowd staring at the two bleakly. Kristoff smirked at both Hans and Sven.

"Stupid assholes!" The blonde man shouted with a laugh. It sure had been quite a task squeezing the secret from Sven and when he found out about the competition, he became dead set on winning the car. He figured it might be another way to get Hans on his own two feet. Using it as an excuse to get a life of course.

"Oh darling, go buy a personality!" Hans shouted back across the car to Kristoff before turning furiously at Sven.

"Are you this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?" He spat in the crying-mans face. Sven sighed.

"I'd agree with you but then we'd both be wrong" he hummed. Hans shook his head before starring in the small brown eyes of Kristoff.

Suddenly, he tore his gaze away, slightly baffled.

"What's wrong? Can't a woman look a man in the eye?" Kristoff called, referring to Hans as a lady who then faintly chuckled.

"Yes it's just, I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one" Hans smirked triumphantly.

"I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit a better argument than that!" Kristof mused.

"I hope one day you choke on all the crap you talk!"

Sven eyed each of his friends, feeling slightly nervous.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!"

* * *

_**McSorley's Old Ale House (Some random bar that became their "church"), evening time**_

"What are you having to drink?" Anna asked as if she didn't already know, standing to her feet to order her and Elsa some drinks.

"Scotch" Elsa replied blandly. Anna rolled her eyes, getting tired of the same answer each time.

"Are you sure you don't want anything-"

"I love scotch, scotchy, scotch, scotch".

Anna decided not to question her sister and instead made her way to the bar to order the sacred drinks. Elsa stole a glance towards the small stage where her younger brother, Olaf was setting up the small stage with a microphone, falling over the many wires, already hearing chuckles vibrate from the audience.

"Here's your scotch" Anna exclaimed, placing the glass down before Elsa. The blonde smiled at Anna before her face drained pale at the sight of a large glass of beer.

"Jesus Anna, and you say _I _need to address my problems" She gasped. Anna sat down opposite Elsa and rolled her eyes once again.

"It's an Irish pub, may as well embrace the culture!" She giggled happily, slurping down some of the golden liquid.

"Keep on rolling your eyes and you might find a brain back there" Elsa muttered harshly, avoiding Anna's stern gaze as she let some of the sweet and fiery scotch trickle down her tongue.

"When is Olaf going to start this stupid show, I want to go home" Elsa whined.

"Elsa, he's our brother. Be a little bit supportive…"

"He's the seed mama should have swallowed"

"Well that's rude, I think you're already drunk".

Elsa giggled before downing half of her scotch and letting loose a hiccup. "Not a chance!"

Suddenly, three familiar voices filled the bar and the two sisters turned their heads to find Kristoff, Hans and Sven slump in with droopy faces besides one who bounced in with so much excitement on his face, Anna thought he may be imitating her.

"Not Hans…" Elsa sighed, slowly sliding down her seat and out of sight.

"What's wrong?" Anna sked.

"His cheesy pickup lines, despicable attitude and, and gorgeous sideburns and- wait what?"

Anna grinned towards her older sister, wiggling her eyebrows.

"That was the scotch talking" Elsa lied, scolding her drink like a small child.

Anna rose to her feet after a few moments of no movement, sprinting towards Kristoff.

"Kristopher!" She cried, flinging her arms around his neck. He stayed completely motionless, his expression saying everything one needed to know.

"Aww baby what's wrong?" Anna cooed, still on her tiptoes just to meet his eyes with her own.

"Nothing"

"Er du sikker…?" She grinned, tickling under his chin like a young boy.

"Yes, Anna now please get me a drink or so help me" He grunted. She kissed his cheek before jumping towards the bar once again, deciding to ignore his grumpy attitude and clumpy steps.

"Hey Sven" Elsa greeted as he sat himself down at the end of the table on separate chair. He looked exceedingly happy for a man who uses newspaper as toilet roll to save money.

"Guess who just won a car?!" He cheered, his eyes bulbously wide. so much so that Elsa thought he may have sneaked a line of coke in the next room.

"Who?" She asked quietly.

"...N-not me…" he wobbled as tears started to stream down his face again, and he buried his head into his arms on the table to avoid people seeing him cry like a woman. Elsa awkwardly shifted sidewards only to feel someone sat beside her, his breath smelled horribly of rich mahogany as she turned to face him slowly, her face falling as she met Hans smirk.

Anna approached the group once again with Kristoff's drink before her eyes fell upon the forms of a miserable Sven, an angry Elsa and a victorious Hans.

"I'm guessing I need to go to the bar again…" she spoke before setting down Kristoff's drink and trailing back to get some more alcohol.

"Hey Elsie… my darling flower" he smirked. She frowned at him and moved as far away from him as she could, preferring the bad stench of Sven over the sordid thoughts of Hans.

"Oh, I should have known… you try to fight temptation, but it _will _crawl up on you in the end…" Hans chuckled in a posh manner, bringing his hand to his forehead in a mocking action.

"Isn't that right, Sven?"

Sven weakly nodded, trying to conceal the tears flowing and the cries he let slide from his mouth though everyone could hear them. Hans was swimming happily in his victory, shaking the car keys in front of Kristoff who sat down next to Anna's seat with a pale expression.

"Suckers!" He quickly turned to Elsa. "I'm fabulous, shhh".

"Are you talking to me?" She retorted angrily, wrapping her fingers around her scotch glass.

"Why yes but if you're tired of talking which I know you are, I have a new car now, it's got that fresh car smell and if you like, we could just go and stink it out, take it for a test drive, if you get what I mean" he licked his lips.

"No" Elsa hissed "girls with asses like mine, don't talk to guys with faces like yours".

"Ok sweet-cheeks but like I said, we can shift from talking and just play out what's in your mind already" Hans glanced down to Elsa's glass with raised eyebrows.

"Hey Elsa? Weren't you supposed to stop all the scot-" He was immediately interrupted by Elsa trying to cover the situation.

"Here it goes, down into my belly, mm-mm-mm!" She yelled, downing the rest and landing back onto her seat. Hans seemed to look amazed.

Anna finally joined the group with a smile, nudging Kristoff slightly.

"I'm guessing you won the car" Anna concluded, watching as Hans laughed maniacally.

"Yes and I was so kind as to give your fiance here a lift, aren't I just the greatest?" Hans spoke in quick tones. Anna smiled before looking down to Kristoff.

"I really…" his voice was nothing but a strained whisper. "I really wanted… that car" he sniffed before erupting into tears with Sven, his hands in his arms as they both caught the attention of nearly all the customers.

Elsa became agitated with the noise, her arms folded, ushering Anna to do something. Anna worriedly patted Kristoff's back, attempting a lullaby.

"...P-people smell better than reinders, Sven don't you think I'm right?!" Anna sang, turning her attention to Sven who only cried louder, Kristoff following in sync, the two like a pair of newborns.

"Someone shut them up!" Elsa cried, covering her ears.

"They're ruining my swag!" Hans shouted, both him and Elsa staring at Anna pleadingly.

"U-um, um…" Anna looked up to the bar tender. "Hey, um… do you sell tissues?!" She called out. Hans glanced towards Sven, an emotional wreck…

"Or tampons?!" Hans added with moderate concern for his friends.

"Tissues, tampons… Any will do!" Elsa chipped in, her teeth clenched tightly together.

The bartender pointed towards the toilets and Anna nodded in thanks before gently pulling Kristoff to his feet and taking a hold of Sven before walking slowly with the two towards the toilets.

"It's ok… Anna's got you" She mused, patting Sven on the back and placing small kisses on Kristoff's cheek.

"I really needed a smoke…" Sven sobbed as he recalled why his hand left the car.

"And Hans told me there was a spider on my shoulder" Kristoff sighed.

"Oh Kristoff, a spider is smaller than you, you know" Anna giggled softly, trying to lighten up the mood.

"Yeah, so is a grenade!" Kristoff spluttered, going into a fit of tears once more.

"Good Lord, you guys are stupid" Anna whispered.

"What?" Kristoff snuffled.

"Nothing!"

Both the boys wore confused expressions as they neared the girl's restroom.

"Anna, we're not girls" Kristoff noted. Sven checked his chest, just in case.

"Don't worry" Anna smiled "if you two keep on crying like that, you'll get away with it".

_**Meanwhile… **_

"So…" Hans sighed, tapping his fingers against his leg as Elsa shuffled awkwardly beside him.

"This is truly extraordinary" Hans said, scooping Elsa's necklace into his palm whilst still around her neck.

"Um… thanks? Jack bought it for me and-"

"Oh I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about the necklace, I just wanted to move it out of the way so I could stare down your cleavage" he admitted truthfully. Elsa blushed lightly before shooing him away from her and covering her chest.

"Though the necklace is fairly nice, how did Jackass even afford it?" Hans asked, reaching for the necklace again. Elsa harshly slapped his hand.

"Looking, no touching" she ordered firmly.

"That's ok, I do that most days anyway…"

"What?"

"What?" Hans repeated.

"And my boyfriend is _not _a jackass" Elsa argued, shuffling away from him.

"No, that's just his _name_, actually, he's a no-good, rotten, womanizing arsehole" Hans growled.

"Coming from you" Elsa laughed, sticking her tongue out at him. Hans bit the insides of his cheeks and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"I'd tell you a joke about my penis, but it's too long" he whispered seductively. Elsa turned slightly red before a smirk graced her lips and she rotated to face him once more.

"I'd tell you a joke about my pussy but you'll never get it" she avoided his emerald eyes before reaching for her second scotch. Hans grunted in frustration, God how he wanted to attack that delicate neck of hers with his lips, but removing the expensive necklace first of course. He shunned away the thought with a shake of his head, diverting his attention away from Elsa's neck and crossing his legs, just in case he started to get to excited.

"When is this show starting?" Hans queried after a while of awkward silence.

"Your guess is as good as mine" Elsa sighed.

"Can we go and just play strip poker at yours?" Hans asked hopefully yet with a serious expression. Elsa raised her eyebrows towards him.

"With you, absolutely not" Elsa chastised.

"Oh come on…" Hans begged.

"Though I might play it with Anna"

"Dude, she's your sister…"

"More people ship me with Anna than they do with me for you"

"They obviously don't know that I win _every single_ game, then".

"I don't give a flying fuck"

"Hey, remember when I asked for your opinion? … Me neither!" Hans laughed before whispering. "Though I could give a nice flying fuck if you wanted…".

Elsa flashed her teeth angrily at him, downing her scotch fiercely and growling at him viciously.

"Y-you, you're impossible!" She huffed.

"Woah, woah… calm down ladies" Anna interjected, both Sven and Kristoff following with fixed grins on their face which made both Hans and Elsa raise their eyebrows in confusion. Hans was the first to speak.

"Either Anna flashed to them in there or Sven shared his dope" he guessed before Anna laughed the thought away.

"Oh Hans, we're at a bar not a club" Anna giggled, making sure the two gender-confusing men sat down safely before she finally rested herself.

"Hey Anna, can you get me a cider when you're ready?" Hans requested expectantly just as she sat down.

"No… get your own, I've had enough of playing mother for one night" She sighed, almost falling asleep until she passed Elsa a full bottle of scotch, Hans looking deeply hurt.

"I figured I'd just get you the whole thing" Anna said as she passed it to her sister.

"Fine then" Hans smirked. "I want to stay sober anyway so I can drive my new car.." he grinned malevolently, his face hovering before Sven and his quivering makeshift smile before making his way across the table before Kristoff to finish his sentence.

"... Back home..."

Kristoff deeply inhaled, biting his top lip as he glanced over to Sven who was slowly but surely breaking down again.

"Don't let him see you cry…" Kristoff squeaked, keeping that same smile upon his face.

"I see…" Hans observed, turning round to Sven.

"Was that one joint really worth it? With the money you spent on that, I could have bought not one, not two, not three but four car fresheners, plus a pair of those dice things you love so much… What flavours you ask? Cinnamon, mint, fresh linen and cedarwood… yep, what would you pick? Of course, you'll have to get your own car first though…"

Sven started to shiver and melt with Hans' words.

"I just can't…" He whispered before slow tears started to fall again. Hans chuckled, wearing that triumphant smirk of his, revelling in the fact he was the higher male in the situation, at least until Anna broke in as the dominant lion.

"Hans, don't you fucking dare. I have spent half an hour using up all the tissue in the little girls room wiping their tears that the next woman who takes a shit in there will have to use the hand cloths!" She yelped, taking a long swig of her beer, the whole table watching in amazement as the mostly-full glass was devoured within a matter of seconds.

"Do women actually poop?" Hans asked in disbelief as Anna sloppily wiped her mouth with her sleeve. Elsa pinched the bridge of her nose in utter annoyance as Hans looked genuinely confused with the fact.

"I'm surrounded by idiots…" Elsa murmured, taking another sip from her bottle of scotch. Sven's whimpers caught her attention and she offered him a gulp of her drink.

"It'll make you feel happy, pal" Elsa spoke, feeling the overdose of alcohol start to take it's toll on her. Sven weakly looked up and took a small sip, not feeling much different but savouring the taste.

"Oh I get it…" Hans continued to Anna "you mean they poop _emotion_? Ok that makes sense now, you had me confused Annie"

"It's _Anna_"

"That's what I said"

"You look funny" Elsa giggled. Hans turned to her, slightly surprised that only now did the scotch affect her.

_Yay, finally my chance… _He thought as he gazed into her bleary eyes which sometimes closed, sometimes opened, not always at the same time and not always looking at him.

Anna hissed at him as she watched him reach out to move her necklace once again.

"Hans, don't you dare" she told him angrily, not tolerating him using her sister's drunken state as a free ticket to her bosom.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen!" Olaf finally announced, his voice squeaking in the microphone.

"BOOOO!" Elsa shouted in a deep voice.

"Aww come on sis, be happy!" Olaf cooed.

Hans looked absolutely amazed with her boldness. After catching Kristoff's attention who was starting to return to his own gruff self, he tapped on his wrist and motioned towards Elsa with a huge grin. Kristoff turned to his watch.

"It's nine thirty" Kristoff informed, Hans slapped himself.

"I said, I'm tapping on, I'm tapping on later, I tell you! Tap, tap, tap!" He laughed, pointing towards Elsa. Kristoff rolled his eyes and shook Hans away before facing Olaf.

"Do we have to watch this?" Kristoff asked Anna, clutching her hand softly.

"Yes"

"But why?"

"Because... Jeg elsker eggstokkene" Anna confessed, trying her luck at the Norwegian.

"You love my ovaries?" Kristoff repeated in English. Anna bit her tongue. That wasn't what she wanted to say, clearly.

"It gets the point across" she agreed before all eyes were on Olaf.

"So I was in the UK last week right" Olaf started, seating himself on a bar stool as the room dimmed slightly and the main light was channeled towards him.

"Anyway, I found out that they're banning triangular-shaped flapjacks in schools because they're _dangerous_" the audience muttered and cuckled slightly.

"Imagine a fight? Over here in the great states we pull out a pistol or rifle, over there they'll be all hard with a box of Mr. Kiplings pastries!"

_**Some terrible jokes, tears and half a bottle of scotch later…**_

Hans was finally able to uncross his legs after listening to Olaf for the past hour. A complete turn-off in his opinion. Though the show wasn't terrible, the amount of awkward no-laughs from the audience made it painful, more than it already was. Elsa had collapsed on his shoulder, snoring loudly and drooling whilst everyone was wondering if Sven was dead or asleep when he had been crying in his arms, now silent and motionless.

"That was really good!" Anna exclaimed, pulling her little brother into a hug.

"Really?" Kristoff yawned. Anna elbowed him.

"I mean really? Really, good… really".

Anna thought of the troubles of getting a cab or walking the long way home when Kristoff's apartment was a five minute walk away.

"Hey babe can I stay at yours tonight?" Anna asked, circling her finger over Kristoff's chest as he yawned once more.

"Sure" he agreed, helping her to her feet.

"Sven, wake up" Kristoff urged, prodding his sleeping friend. Sven quickly lifted his head, his eyes still clamped together.

"Kristoff man, can I sleep in your basement?" He asked.

"I don't have one I live in- wait, were you trying to hit on me?"

"No… I just really need to get in your basement right now"

"Um…"

"Or a cupboard, a refrigerator, whatever you have!"

"No, come on Anna".

"Hans" Anna called.

"Yes?"

"Since you're the only one sober, can you drive Elsa home? I don't think she'd make it walking the hour's journey without getting mugged or something".

Hans hesitated first before finally agreeing and bringing Elsa to her feet, though she wouldn't wake up despite the movement. He latched his arm under her legs and scooped her up in his arms, sighing before heading out of the door, leaving Olaf to heave Sven out the same way.

* * *

_**Outside Elsa's apartment **_

Hans fished into Elsa's pockets quietly before hooking his fingers around her house keys. He then delicately carried her out, locking his new and classy car behind him.

The trip up the staircase wasn't easy, having to bend in certain angles or walk sideways to turn the corners. He gazed down at her and sweetly smiled.

_And you call _me _impossible… The things I do for you Elsa my Queen. _

He blinked back his thoughts, feeling odd that he was imagining her as a graceful Queen rather than his usual thoughts which generally consisted of Elsa naked, chocolate often entered his lewd fantasies too.

Opening the door was quite a struggle but he made his way in, somehow. He'd been up here twice on Anna's accord, and didn't know the place off by heart yet he could tell that Elsa's room was the room painted blue with white furniture. He quietly walked in, placing Elsa on the bed and pulling the covers over her. He inhaled and grimaced at the smell. The bedding smelt terribly of that idiot Jack Frost.

_Lucky fella… _Hans thought with a hint of envy, more nasty thoughts crawling into his mind and clouding his image.

He glanced over to see Elsa staring bleakly at him, sat bolt-upright. She had been so quiet…

"Elsa…"

"Oh, it's you… Come and give me a hug!" She giggled, obviously still drunk. She remained with her arms outstretched for him as he hesitated, finding it hard not to follow through with her about temptation.

"I like warm hugs" she admitted sloppily.

"You like warm scotch, far too much"

"You know I'm not as think as you drunk I am…"

Hans slowly padded towards her before bending down and smiling.

"Good night" he said until she pulled him forward.

"Sing to me" she demanded.

"What?"

"I said SING TO ME!"

"Ok, ok b-but why"

"Because why not? Kristoff gets a lullaby, now sing!"

The auburn-haired man swallowed before opening his mouth to sing.

"Love is an open door… Love is an open door, life can be so much mo-" He came to a sudden stop as he heard loud snoring interrupt his song. Elsa had fallen back to sleep. He smiled to himself, moving a strand of her blonde hair away from her face.

"Night, Elsie" he was about to lean in and kiss her on the forehead but a ping from him phone caused him to pull back and stand up. He had a message from Kristoff. He tiredly opened up the message to read:

_Ha! You might have the car but me and Anna just had sex on your bed and now we're going to drink all your beer and do it again on all your clothes!_

"Damn it, Kristoff" Hans grunted, glancing to Elsa… and the empty space beside her. He tip-toed towards the other side of her bed and climbed on, not making himself too comfy.

"I sure as Hell aren't walking in on those guys again". He stared at the back of Elsa's head, playing out her reaction in his mind, he could have fun with this.

_Besides, it's not like I'm a sex criminal or anything..._

* * *

_Next time:_

_I'm not sure, leave some suggestions. Something will come to me sooner or later..._

* * *

**A/N:**** I can not apologise enough for the wait but I pulled an all-nighter to finish this! Literally, it's getting light outside, I'm actually really worried xD**

**So I hope you enjoyed reading that 4,140 words of utter crap and please leave a review on what you think :D**

**Before you ask, yep... They banned triangular flapjacks at schools here in England, you get caught with one and they'll call the cops, no lie! See you soon :)**

**~MaliJo x (I'm so witty today!)**


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